November 2, 2015

3 Affirmations To Say To Yourself When You Fail

A failure is an unsuccessful attempt to achieve, manifest, or accomplish a goal, plan, desire, dream, or vision.

Failure is painful. It’s excruciating. It hurts. It scars. And it’s traumatizing.

Nobody enjoys failure. No one likes losing. Nobody sets off on a journey to accomplish a goal with the intention or expectation of failing.

But as unwanted and painful as it may be, failure is a necessary stepping-stone and rite of passage for success.

Because none of us are perfect, failure is an inevitable and mandatory process that each and every human being must go through to arrive at success. You have to be willing to go through failure to succeed.

No matter who you are or what background you come from, there will most definitely be moments in your life when you fail to land your dream-job, lose out on a promotion, earn a unsatisfactory grade at school, approach an attractive member of the opposite sex and face rejection, use your own funds to launch a business only to lose everything that you invested, or jump into a career only to find out that your talents and abilities are best-suited for a different path.

Failure is inevitable and necessary part of the process of growth.

But in order to grow from your defeats, you have to use a positive inner dialogue to interpret your failures with an optimistic outlook that produces more passion, purpose, meaning, success, and fulfillment from your setbacks.

The following are 3 affirmations that will help you bounce back from any failure. These affirmations will set you up to play the cards life gives you like they’re the cards you wanted.

3 Affirmations To Say To Yourself When You Fail:

#1- “I Have Failed. But I Am Not A Failure. Failure Is Not Who I Am.”

The fear of failure is one of the most terrifying phobias of the human mind that keeps lots of people from even taking the first steps towards their goals. That phobia of trying your best to accomplish a goal and coming short is so paralyzing that some spend their entire lives procrastinating on getting started on their goals just to avoid the possibility of failing.

Failure scares us to death.

The reason why failure terrifies us so much is because we culturally and collectively have a tendency for thinking of failure as a reflection of character. We tend to think that going through failure must mean that failure is part of your identity—a reflection of who you are.

The next time you’re in a conversation with friends, colleagues, or family, pay close attention to how they use the word “failure.” I’ll be surprised if you don’t hear something along the lines of:

  • “I can’t let myself become a failure.”
  • “[So and so] is a failure.”
  • “I feel like a failure.”

We’ve got this tendency of thinking of failure as an identity—as a reflection of self-worth.

And even though lots of people do it, thinking of failure as a reflection of your self-worth is one of the worst mistakes you could ever make. Accepting that you are a failure is a traumatizing label that could scar you for the rest of your life.

That’s why you have to make a conscious effort to separate your failures from who you are as person. Make it a habit to think of failure as a process instead of a reflection of your identity—a necessary stepping-stone to your success.

So if and when you happen to come up short in achieving a goal—if and when you fail—use this affirmation to help you separate your failure from who you are as a person: “I Have Failed. But I Am Not A Failure. Failure Is Not Who I Am.”

Separating your setback from who you are is the first step to growing from your failure.

2#- “I Will Use This To Learn, Improve, Better Myself, And Grow Stronger”

Now that you’ve separated your failure from your identity, you need to make a conscious effort to use your breakdown as an opportunity for growth, learning, and self-improvement.

When you put all your time, effort, dedication, attention, work, and energy into a goal and still come up short, don’t give up. Don’t lose faith. Don’t lose your optimism. And don’t lose your ambition.

Try your best to think of ways to transform this negative result into a positive outcome.

Go down this checklist of questions to ask yourself in times of failure:

  • What did I learn about myself from this that I couldn’t have learned any other way?
  • Where did I go wrong?
  • What could I have done differently to make this project more successful?
  • What areas do I need to improve on?
  • What can I do to give myself better odds of succeeding in the next attempt?

If you can single out even one area for improvement or one lesson about yourself that you didn’t already know that helps you succeed in the long-run, then struggling through failure could eventually become the best thing that ever happened to you.

In order to build that empire of success on a solid foundation of failures, you need to start by saying this affirmation to yourself when you fail: “I Will Use This To Learn, Improve, Better Myself, And Grow Stronger.”

Don’t allow the pain of coming up unsuccessful break you down to a lower position than where you were when you started. Make a conscious choice to use your failure to launch yourself to higher place than you ever imagined.

3#- “I Am Grateful For My Failure. Because Everything Happens For A Reason.”

Failure is painful. It’s excruciating. It hurts. It scars. And it’s traumatizing.

Nobody enjoys failure. No one sets out on a mission to successfully launch a business, run for office, publish a book, land their dream job, get accepted into Harvard, earn a 4.0, get a promotion, or go on a date with the man or woman of their dreams with the intention of failing.

No one fails on purpose. But with that being said, it is always possible to find purpose through your failure.

Because everything happens for a reason.

That’s right. Every situation, event, person, place, tragedy, or misfortune that comes into your life happens for a purpose.

But finding that purpose isn’t easy. No one can show you what your purpose is. That burden is on you.

It’s up to you to determine what your purpose is and how your life will unfold. So when you fail—when you put all of your energy in accomplishing a goal and still come up short—it’s up to you to either fall into a downward spiral of hopelessness or create a positive meaning from your failure.

In order to do that—in order to create meaning from your pain—you need to choose to view your failure with a positive mindset—through a lens of gratitude, optimism, positivity, and hope. You have to choose to be grateful for your defeat. And you need to believe that everything—including your failure—happens for a reason.

If you choose to view your failure through a positive outlook of gratitude, purpose, optimism, and meaning, your defeat won’t be able to traumatize, scar, or destroy you. Gratitude will help you build a firm foundation of success on the failures of your past.

Choosing to feel grateful for your setbacks will allow you to play the hand life gave you, like it’s the hand you always wanted.

So when you find yourself struggling to cope with the pain of a failure, take a moment to step aside and say this affirmation to yourself in the mirror: “I Am Grateful For My Failure. Because Everything Happens For A Reason.”

Years and years from now, you’ll find yourself on stage at a graduation ceremony telling students how your world-changing career started with a series of failures that you chose to feel grateful for.

 

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